According to a recent American study, women do not hesitate to embellish the sexual performance of their male partner, in order to maintain their “virility”. Some are even ready to fake orgasms, letting their pleasure fade into the background.
In bed, many men are obsessed with what they see as “sexual performance obligations.” So much so that their female partners sometimes feel “obliged” to compliment them, even to simulate an orgasm… for the sole purpose of not hurting these gentlemen’s egos.
“Let not the foolish and pretentious rooster that sits upon it be disappointed”, ironically, George Brassens in his song “Five Five Out of a Hundred,” released in 1972. Fifty years later, this caustic verse against men still seems relevant, according to a new study.
The research, published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, brings together several studies on how women try to maintain their partner’s sense of masculinity. A survey of 283 women shows that the more they think their partner’s masculinity is threatened, the more anxious they become and the less they communicate with them about their sexual relationships.
Heartfelt example: According to another study cited in the study, women who earn more money than their partners are twice as likely as others to fake orgasms. A reaction that underlies the idea (still widespread, of course) that the fact that the man earns less is in itself an attack on his manhood and that the latter cannot, as a bonus, be told that he is a bad lover.
“Women prioritize what they think their partner’s needs are over their own sexual needs and satisfaction. »
Jessica Jordan, researcher at the University of South Florida (US) and author of the study.
An attitude that can be compared to the mental load. Or rather, to the sexual charge with which women are decked out. Either the fact of “getting ready to please, worry about the desire of others, their pleasure, or even find out about a sex life worthy of the name”explain journalists Caroline Michel and Clémentine Gallot in the book “The sexual charge”, published by First Éditions in June 2020.
Men, for their part, are negatively affected by what is called toxic masculinity. A concept used in psychology to denote the societal commandments that weigh on men. In particular, that of “being virile” or, when it comes to sex, not being a “premature ejaculator”.
Although sexual charge and toxic masculinity correspond to two very different sociological phenomena, they nevertheless have in common that they harm the two sexes to which they relate (women in the first case, men in the second case). “If society creates an unsustainable norm of masculinity, no one wins”Jessica Jordan rightly points out.
(ETX Daily Up)