Is this man deconstructed? A question French women, whether couple or single, are clearly increasingly asking about their current or future partner, a new survey reveals. But what exactly do we mean by “deconstructed”?
A popular concept and rooted directly in the feminist movement, “deconstruction” refers to an individual’s ability to question themselves in order to better emancipate themselves from certain societal stereotypes, particularly those associated with gender.
Does the concept of the deconstructed man in 2022 correspond to a myth or a reality? To find out more, the Ifop Institute conducted a survey for the Wyylde dating site among 2,000 representatives of the French population.
In French women, the desire to build a love life with a “deconstructed man” seems well established: 70% of them share this opinion. Those in a couple even say their wish has already been fulfilled, as 61% consider their current spouse as such.
As for men, the concept doesn’t seem unfamiliar either, as 54% call themselves “deconstructed” and 57% want to become so, the survey specifies. So it is more than half, although this percentage varies greatly according to age, social class and political side.
For example, two-thirds of the men surveyed see no problem with it living with a woman who earns better than him, taking parental leave to allow their partner to work (80%) or even living with a woman who does fewer household chores than she does (80%).
Commandments that endure
A good start. But the road is still long. Because some clichés are still persistent. Take, for example, the aesthetic precepts according to which women should be “desirable”, “beautiful”, “thin”, “made up”, “shaved”, etc. Archaic standards? Not for 48% of the men surveyed: the latter admit that they “wouldn’t accept” having a relationship with a woman “that would not meet these standards”†
The shoe also pinches when looking at the contraceptive load. Although 87% of the men surveyed indicate that they are willing to pay for part of their partner’s contraception, their involvement seems limited to the financial aspect. Indeed, they are only 32% to consider male contraception, be it the pill for men or heated panties.
In terms of sexual practices, heterosexual norms remain largely dominant. For example, an overwhelming majority of men in particular seem to think that penetration is a one-way street: 76% refuse to explore the pleasure of a prostate orgasm. And the same goes for rimming (52% of men reject this practice) or introducing a plug or a sex toy. It is clear that penetrative sex is still strongly correlated with the female body or with homosexual practices in the minds of men.
So, these gentlemen deconstructed? If they seem to have mastered the theory, the practice leaves much to be desired. As we would say at school: underway, but we can do better!
This survey was conducted with a sample of 2,003 people, representative of the French population aged 18 years and older.
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