The arrival of a child within the couple is a source of much commotion. And if women are supported during their pregnancy, fathers sometimes feel helpless at the time of birth. To accompany them in this new chapter of their lives, Yves Lecointe offers father preparation workshops in the Hauts de France. Presentation.
Changing a diaper or bathing a newborn cannot be improvised. In order to dispel the doubts of future fathers, Yves Lecointe, founder of La Fabrique des Parents, decided to create this innovative workshop in 2019. In a room of the youth hostel of Amiens, he accompanies these fathers for a day, who are a bit lost and often very anxious.
Interviewed by the newspaper Kaizenthe trainer disproves prejudices. “Motherhood can be done 100% by the father. The problem is that our society has traditionally not involved fathers enough in parenting. And all too often they think participating is watching the strollers in the baby store. †
How to change attitudes and mobilize fathers to enable women to emancipate themselves by freeing themselves from the mental burden? Because the data is formal: According to a National Union of Family Associations (Unaf) study cited by Kaizen, the distribution of time spent caring for children is still largely uneven. Men spend 41 minutes a day on it, compared to 95 minutes for women. A trend that is difficult to reverse despite changes in society. Between 1999 and 2019, this time devoted to parental duties has only increased by 9 minutes in fathers’ daily lives.
Confronted with his four students, Yves Lecointe distils his advice according to the situation: change a baby’s diaper, give him a safe bath or dress him. “My workshops value their role as fathers; when they go home, they feel more competent”emphasizes the trainer.
Don’t be afraid to ask stupid questions
And if dads-to-be thought mastering the art of the diaper or the bottle would be enough to make the arrival of their baby child’s play, Yves Lecointe shows them another reality.
“A lot of things are going to change this year, your living room is going to be a mess, your car is getting busier… Fathers too often don’t anticipate the major life changes brought about by the arrival of their child”he points before dropping the number of fatalities. “One in four couples split up after the baby’s first year of life. Statistically, this is going to hit one of you.”says Prof.
“Keep your intimate life: leave loving post-its when you go to work, go back to the restaurant fairly quickly or confide in the child for a few hours, think about resuming a sexual life, etc.”
Yves Lecointe Don’t Forget to Warn Dads About the Risks of Postpartum Depression: “After two days, your wife is going through a hormonal upheaval, she wonders if she will be able to raise this child. You have to support her and say: “yes, together you will get there”. Beware, this depression can come back when you go back to work. Taking care of a baby all day is exhausting. †
The aim of these unmixed workshops, then, is to reveal to fathers-to-be the magnitude of the task ahead, but also to provide them with a space to speak up freely. “Men have a very hard time talking,” reports the expert. They don’t speak the same language when there are women around them, some are afraid their questions will seem stupid. †
The training ultimately benefits fathers as well as their child and partner. Workshops that have a price, one hundred euros, which unfortunately limits access to a small part of the population.
To discover the Kaizen report in its entirety, find it here. And to find out more about these workshops, visit the La Fabrique des Parents website.