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should you ask the parents before proposing

by Emma VonRueden Published 3 years ago Updated 3 years ago

Should you ask the parents before proposing? We know it's a little old fashion, but it's still preferred for men to ask the girlfriend's family for permission before proposing. You don't have to necessarily ask her father, but at least let someone in her immediate family know of your intentions of marriage.

We know it's a little old fashion, but it's still preferred for men to ask the girlfriend's family for permission before proposing. You don't have to necessarily ask her father, but at least let someone in her immediate family know of your intentions of marriage.

Full Answer

Do you have to ask her father for permission before proposing?

We know it’s a little old fashion, but it’s still preferred for men to ask the girlfriend’s family for permission before proposing. You don’t have to necessarily ask her father, but at least let someone in her immediate family know of your intentions of marriage. Here are some more tips on how to ask the father.

How to propose to your parents for their blessing?

Ready to Propose? 9 Tips for Asking Her Parents for Their Blessing. 1 Do it in person. If at all possible, make this a face-to-face meeting. If distance makes an in-person meeting impossible, try for a Skype call first, ... 2 Call ahead. 3 Keep things positive. 4 Be respectful. 5 Have several talking points. More items

Do men need permission to propose?

According to a 2015 survey from TheKnot.com of what appear to be overwhelmingly heterosexual couples, more than three-quarters of men ask for permission from their partner’s father or parents before they propose.

Should you ask your father or mother first to get married?

The most popular arguments in favor of ask-dad-first seem to be tradition and respect. So let’s tackle each. It is indeed traditional to ask a woman’s father if you can marry her, because traditionally, marriage was a property transfer – with you, the bride, as the property.

Does your S.O. want you to?

The largest and most important determining factor in this situation is what your bride wants. "Although most brides consider the custom a chance for their partners to score brownie points, some veto it," acknowledges Fitzpatrick.

Would her dad appreciate it?

If you've already had a conversation about the conversation (see above) and your future bride is indifferent, a helpful tip might be to think about your future father-in-law. "It is a very chivalrous, respectful act; and one that would be appreciated by an older, traditional father," notes Fitzpatrick.

Do you have a plan if he says no?

Remember that if you're asking for permission, you're essentially asking a question. And the response to that question could be "no." Fitzpatrick advises any hopeful groom to consider this ahead of time and be prepared to address a parent's reservations should the arise.

Whom should I ask?

Marriage proposal etiquette dictates that men ask the woman’s father for his permission, but nowadays that dynamic is seen as archaic. Families come in all shapes and sizes, and asking the right people can be an important step toward getting engaged!

How to prepare for the conversation

There are a few things you should do to prepare for the conversation with her parents. Keep these marriage proposal etiquette “musts” in mind:

What should I say during the conversation?

Many men hate public speaking, and it can be nerve-wracking to have all of the attention on you. Asking your partner’s parents for their blessing can seem daunting, but just remember that this is a happy occasion and they’ll ultimately be excited for you and their child!🎊

Last minute tips for a successful conversation

We’ve covered plenty of information to get you started, but here are a few more bits of advice to consider:

Marriage proposal etiquette: Seeking permission or showing respect?

Asking your partner’s parents for their permission to marry their daughter can seem like a patriarchal custom. Considering your partner is her own person, she shouldn’t need their permission to get married. However, if you look at this situation as “ showing respect ” to the important parental figures in her life, it makes much more sense.

Getting the wrong ring

It’s 2018, if your girl hasn’t told you exactly which ring she’d like, check out her social media accounts and ask her family and friends. There are so many options available, you can’t wing it on your own. Browse rings here.

Proposing on an expected holiday

Don’t get us wrong, we love Christmas and Valentine’s Day, the 2 most popular days of the year for proposals. However, you can propose any other day of the year and chances are she will be even more surprise and it will make the proposal even more special. Yet, if the holidays are her favorite time of the year, go for it!

Forgetting her family

We know it’s a little old fashion, but it’s still preferred for men to ask the girlfriend’s family for permission before proposing. You don’t have to necessarily ask her father, but at least let someone in her immediate family know of your intentions of marriage. Here are some more tips on how to ask the father.

Hiding the ring in weird places

Don’t hide the ring in her food! No, it’s not cute. And yes, she will go to the emergency room. In fact, don’t attempt to hide the ring anywhere unless it’s your pocket. These proposals might seem cute and unique, but they sometimes backfire. An engagement ring is too costly to be tossed carelessly in a glass of wine or baked into a cupcake.

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