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is it healthy to keep in touch with an ex

by Lowell Romaguera Published 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago

Is it healthy to keep in contact with an ex? Most experts agree: you should not reach out to your ex unless you hope to salvage a treasured friendship. The impulse to reach out to an ex , whether it is because you still have feelings for them, you are seeking comfort and familiarity, or you simply want to know how they are doing, is often a bad ...

Most experts agree: you should not reach out to your ex unless you hope to salvage a treasured friendship. The impulse to reach out to an ex, whether it is because you still have feelings for them, you are seeking comfort and familiarity, or you simply want to know how they are doing, is often a bad idea.Apr 25, 2022

Full Answer

Is it bad to keep in touch with an ex?

But, if you're trying to talk to him in hopes of getting back together, it could end badly for you. Oftentimes, if you broke up for the right reasons, keeping in touch will only aggravate the emotional wound. If you see your ex as a backup, then it's not healthy.

Is it healthy to live in the past with your ex?

It isn’t healthy to live in the past. Your ex is your past, and that is where they should stay. What if your ex still has feelings for you? And if they do, they will always be hinting at getting back together or mention how they miss being with you. This may divert your attention, and you will lose focus from your current relationship.

Does your ex still have feelings for You?

Your ex is your past, and that is where they should stay. What if your ex still has feelings for you? And if they do, they will always be hinting at getting back together or mention how they miss being with you. This may divert your attention, and you will lose focus from your current relationship.

Is it OK to reach out to your ex husband?

If you are emotionally or physically vulnerable, try reaching out to a trusted family member or friend instead. Reaching out to an ex without knowing the outcome could be harmful to your emotional health. If you are in a good place, reaching out might be less risky.

Is it okay to stay friends with an ex?

They may continue to love and care deeply about their former partners, though those feelings are no longer tied up with wanting to continue dating. As long as you wholeheartedly accept that the relationship is over and are actively moving on with your life, you can still maintain a friendship with an ex you love.

Should I keep in touch with my ex if I want him back?

Be thoughtful with your contact Once you know you really do want to be in contact again, "unless the ex has demanded that you not contact him or her, or has a restraining order, it's OK to contact him or her with some kind of neutral message," Tessina said.

Is it OK to talk to an ex while in a relationship?

Minimize contact with your ex You must completely let go of your past since talking to an ex while in a relationship is not such a good idea. They shouldn't be plastered all over your phone. It's okay to have them on your social media, but don't interact with them. Don't text each other or like each other's photos.

Is being friends with an ex a red flag?

They're friends with their ex Feeling threatened by an ex is a normal feeling — but it's not a red flag. Maybe they were friends before they started dating. Perhaps they value each other's opinions or words of advice. Or maybe they dated so long ago that every ounce of romantic connection has simply disappeared.

Why Ignoring your ex is powerful?

Ignoring your ex after your breakup with a no contact rule is the best thing you could do and here's a quick rundown of why it works so well: It allows you more time to focus on yourself and lead an improved life. It showcases a stable and secure side of you.

Is it unhealthy to talk to your ex?

Remember: There's nothing wrong with wanting to talk to your ex, and it's completely OK to want to reach out to them.

Why you shouldn't be friends with an ex?

Staying friends with your ex will lead to an on-again off-again relationship. You'll get back together, then break up again... multiple times. These kinds of relationships are not healthy! If someone wants to truly be with you, splitting up would never be an option.

Why would an ex contact you?

The most likely answer is that they're looking for an excuse just to have some sort of contact with you. Again, it's really important to not get your hopes up – especially if you are still not over your ex. The breakup still happened, regardless of who did the breaking up.

Why do people stay in touch with their ex?

Sometimes people stay in touch with their ex because they want to get back with them again, and it's a feeling of regret because they broke up with them. The reasons for staying in touch do vary. If there is a kid involved, sometimes they stay in touch to inform the other about the kid.

Why do you want to reach out to your ex?

Why do you want to reach out? If the two of you broke up, but you are still in love with your ex, reaching out could prolong the inevitable breakup process, particularly if your ex prompted the breakup. If, however, you initiated the decision, reaching out might make sense. 4.

What is the no contact rule?

The no contact rule and no talk rule is often used as a manipulation approach by individuals who want to get the attention of or garner favor from someone, especially an ex. In some cases, this works, and exes try to reconcile the relationship. However, there are times when going no contact can make your ex move on.

How long does it take to lose a relationship?

Even new or shorter relationships can have an impact on your life, and the loss of a relationship as short as one month can present unique and difficult challenges-especially in a day and age when communication is usually constant and immediate via text and social media.

Why does my ex keep contacting me?

One of the main reasons your ex may be contacting you is that he wants to make you jealous. His new girlfriend may not be as attentive as he had hoped and he may be second-guessing ending the relationship with you, especially if you were attentive to his wants and needs. In some cases, he may simply want to be friends.

What happens if your ex is over you?

However, there are some behaviors that may be easily noticeable. If your ex is over you, they will likely treat you the same as he does other women. If they were not over you, they may put extra effort into being nice to you or trying to get your attention. Shows no signs of jealousy if you are around another person.

Why does my ex keep showing up in the same place?

If your ex always seems to be showing up in the same places that you go, they may still have feelings for you. For some people, this is a way of keeping in contact with someone they still love while trying to not appear obvious. They are always “accidentally” calling or texting you or trying to talk to you.

Key points

A survey showed that close to half of college students report having contact with an ex.

Should you keep in touch with your ex?

The answer isn’t a simple yes or no. You should think about your motives for wanting to maintain contact. If you’re using an ex as a backup, contact with the ex is likely to undermine your current relationship. Other research has shown that reminders of your ex can keep you attached to that person and make it more difficult to get over them. 4

Is there a reason to be jealous if your partner is friendly with an ex?

Knowing that your current partner is still in touch with an ex certainly can create jealousy. In the age of Facebook, we often know if a partner is still in touch with exes. 6 If your partner is communicating with an ex, it doesn't necessarily reflect poorly on your relationship.

Why don't I want to talk to my ex?

You Aren't Comfortable With Being Alone. If the reason you want to talk to your ex is because you don't like being single, you should not talk to them. "Talking to your ex is just putting off and prolonging your ability to find someone else," Masini says. "You can't be truly single unless you're truly single.".

Should I give my ex space to move on?

If your ex is in a serious relationship with someone else, you should give them space to move on. You don't want to be that ex that keeps lingering around because it not only hurts your old partner, but it hurts you as well. By backing off, "you're creating a genuine single life without your ex for yourself and that's always the best way for you to move on," Masini says.

What does it mean when you think about your ex?

“If you feel any emotion when you think of your ex—if you’re angry, pining, frustrated, or unsure—that means you’re still connected,” Orbuch says, which signals you have some emotional baggage you need to unpack before you think about reaching out. 2.

Is it normal to stay in touch with your ex?

The temptation to stay in touch with an ex is normal—we’ve all been there. If you need to remain civil (and can), by all means go for it. But if you’re hanging onto the hope of getting back together, giving them the wrong impression, or risking your current relationship, that’s another story.

What people say, is that really true?

People like to think that there isn’t any romance left in the old relationship, that they truly are just friends. But at some point, you can’t help but think that you’ve been intimate with this person, you’ve loved them; there was a time when you thought that you’d last forever.

Minimize contact with your ex

You must completely let go of your past since talking to an ex while in a relationship is not such a good idea. They shouldn’t be plastered all over your phone. It’s okay to have them on your social media, but don’t interact with them. Don’t text each other or like each other’s photos.

What happens if you contact your ex?

However, if you persist in contacting or attempting to contact your ex, you are working against the recovery process and in favor of a self-defeating strategy of denial. This may buffer the blow but it cures nothing.

Why should you not have contact with your children?

In reality, the only legitimate reason for contact not to be avoided is if you have children and must communicate about co- parenting responsibilities —and even in that case, you should maintain boundaries by limiting conversation to matters pertaining to the children.

What is the sting of a breakup?

The sting of a breakup or divorce is painful and disorienting. Adrenaline courses through the body and the mind races. The suffering party thinks, “This can’t be happening.” And with that thought paramount, the individual seeks corrective action—talking it out with the ex, identifying the fix that will save the relationship, or in some way buying time through compromise, temporizing, papering over. Whatever it takes.

What does it mean when your relationship ends?

If your relationship has ended, then it's over: What you had with your ex no longer exists. It will never be the same. Continuing the connection means that a part of you is still hoping that in some alternate universe there is a chance you and your ex can be together and be happy.

Is it a mistake to remain in contact with your ex?

However, it is a mistake to remain, or attempt to remain, in contact with an ex in the hope of achieving a chance to do things over.

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      Bindings
      • 0. publish
      Backtrace
      • 14. /app/View/Composers/SidebarView.php:22
      • 15. /app/View/Composers/SidebarView.php:12
      • 16. /vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Concerns/ManagesEvents.php:124
      • 17. /vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Concerns/ManagesEvents.php:162
      • 20. /vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Concerns/ManagesEvents.php:177
    • select * from `fake_users` where `fake_users`.`id` = 9035 limit 1
      750μsview::2dd102cf0462e89a4d4d8bc77355d767652bf9aa:15receivinghelpdeskask
      Metadata
      Bindings
      • 0. 9035
      Backtrace
      • 21. view::2dd102cf0462e89a4d4d8bc77355d767652bf9aa:15
      • 23. /vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:108
      • 24. /vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
      • 25. /vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:69
      • 26. /vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:61
    App\Models\FakeUser
    1
    Outl1ne\MenuBuilder\Models\MenuItem
    1
    Outl1ne\MenuBuilder\Models\Menu
    1
    App\Models\JsonPostContent
    1
    App\Models\Post
    11
        _token
        NJB2MCLt2BtWlc5pgQRgiZ8PJsli9oeEONt0daM4
        _previous
        array:1 [ "url" => "https://receivinghelpdesk.com/ask/is-it-healthy-to-keep-in-touch-with-an-ex" ]
        _flash
        array:2 [ "old" => [] "new" => [] ]
        PHPDEBUGBAR_STACK_DATA
        []
        path_info
        /is-it-healthy-to-keep-in-touch-with-an-ex
        status_code
        200
        
        status_text
        OK
        format
        html
        content_type
        text/html; charset=UTF-8
        request_query
        []
        
        request_request
        []
        
        request_headers
        0 of 0
        array:24 [ "cf-ipcountry" => array:1 [ 0 => "US" ] "cf-connecting-ip" => array:1 [ 0 => "216.73.216.179" ] "cdn-loop" => array:1 [ 0 => "cloudflare; loops=1" ] "sec-fetch-site" => array:1 [ 0 => "none" ] "accept" => array:1 [ 0 => "text/html,application/xhtml+xml,application/xml;q=0.9,image/avif,image/webp,image/apng,*/*;q=0.8,application/signed-exchange;v=b3;q=0.7" ] "user-agent" => array:1 [ 0 => "Mozilla/5.0 AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko; compatible; ClaudeBot/1.0; +claudebot@anthropic.com)" ] "upgrade-insecure-requests" => array:1 [ 0 => "1" ] "sec-ch-ua-platform" => array:1 [ 0 => ""Windows"" ] "sec-ch-ua-mobile" => array:1 [ 0 => "?0" ] "sec-ch-ua" => array:1 [ 0 => ""Chromium";v="130", "HeadlessChrome";v="130", "Not?A_Brand";v="99"" ] "cache-control" => array:1 [ 0 => "no-cache" ] "pragma" => array:1 [ 0 => "no-cache" ] "sec-fetch-dest" => array:1 [ 0 => "document" ] "cf-ray" => array:1 [ 0 => "94dd1a549ae4cd80-ORD" ] "accept-encoding" => array:1 [ 0 => "gzip, br" ] "priority" => array:1 [ 0 => "u=0, i" ] "sec-fetch-user" => array:1 [ 0 => "?1" ] "sec-fetch-mode" => array:1 [ 0 => "navigate" ] "cf-visitor" => array:1 [ 0 => "{"scheme":"https"}" ] "connection" => array:1 [ 0 => "close" ] "x-forwarded-proto" => array:1 [ 0 => "https" ] "x-forwarded-for" => array:1 [ 0 => "216.73.216.179, 172.69.17.204" ] "x-server-addr" => array:1 [ 0 => "154.12.239.204" ] "host" => array:1 [ 0 => "receivinghelpdesk.com" ] ]
        request_server
        0 of 0
        array:55 [ "USER" => "runcloud" "HOME" => "/home/runcloud" "SCRIPT_NAME" => "/ask/index.php" "REQUEST_URI" => "/ask/is-it-healthy-to-keep-in-touch-with-an-ex" "QUERY_STRING" => "" "REQUEST_METHOD" => "GET" "SERVER_PROTOCOL" => "HTTP/1.0" "GATEWAY_INTERFACE" => "CGI/1.1" "REDIRECT_URL" => "/ask/is-it-healthy-to-keep-in-touch-with-an-ex" "REMOTE_PORT" => "33296" "SCRIPT_FILENAME" => "/home/runcloud/webapps/ReceivingHelpDesk/ask/index.php" "SERVER_ADMIN" => "you@example.com" "CONTEXT_DOCUMENT_ROOT" => "/home/runcloud/webapps/ReceivingHelpDesk/" "CONTEXT_PREFIX" => "" "REQUEST_SCHEME" => "http" "DOCUMENT_ROOT" => "/home/runcloud/webapps/ReceivingHelpDesk/" "REMOTE_ADDR" => "172.69.17.204" "SERVER_PORT" => "80" "SERVER_ADDR" => "127.0.0.1" "SERVER_NAME" => "receivinghelpdesk.com" "SERVER_SOFTWARE" => "Apache/2.4.63 (Unix) OpenSSL/1.1.1f" "SERVER_SIGNATURE" => "" "LD_LIBRARY_PATH" => "/RunCloud/Packages/apache2-rc/lib" "PATH" => "/usr/local/sbin:/usr/local/bin:/usr/sbin:/usr/bin:/sbin:/bin" "HTTP_CF_IPCOUNTRY" => "US" "HTTP_CF_CONNECTING_IP" => "216.73.216.179" "HTTP_CDN_LOOP" => "cloudflare; loops=1" "HTTP_SEC_FETCH_SITE" => "none" "HTTP_ACCEPT" => "text/html,application/xhtml+xml,application/xml;q=0.9,image/avif,image/webp,image/apng,*/*;q=0.8,application/signed-exchange;v=b3;q=0.7" "HTTP_USER_AGENT" => "Mozilla/5.0 AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko; compatible; ClaudeBot/1.0; +claudebot@anthropic.com)" "HTTP_UPGRADE_INSECURE_REQUESTS" => "1" "HTTP_SEC_CH_UA_PLATFORM" => ""Windows"" "HTTP_SEC_CH_UA_MOBILE" => "?0" "HTTP_SEC_CH_UA" => ""Chromium";v="130", "HeadlessChrome";v="130", "Not?A_Brand";v="99"" "HTTP_CACHE_CONTROL" => "no-cache" "HTTP_PRAGMA" => "no-cache" "HTTP_SEC_FETCH_DEST" => "document" "HTTP_CF_RAY" => "94dd1a549ae4cd80-ORD" "HTTP_ACCEPT_ENCODING" => "gzip, br" "HTTP_PRIORITY" => "u=0, i" "HTTP_SEC_FETCH_USER" => "?1" "HTTP_SEC_FETCH_MODE" => "navigate" "HTTP_CF_VISITOR" => "{"scheme":"https"}" "HTTP_CONNECTION" => "close" "HTTP_X_FORWARDED_PROTO" => "https" "HTTP_X_FORWARDED_FOR" => "216.73.216.179, 172.69.17.204" "HTTP_X_SERVER_ADDR" => "154.12.239.204" "HTTP_HOST" => "receivinghelpdesk.com" "HTTPS" => "on" "REDIRECT_STATUS" => "200" "REDIRECT_HTTPS" => "on" "FCGI_ROLE" => "RESPONDER" "PHP_SELF" => "/ask/index.php" "REQUEST_TIME_FLOAT" => 1749602906.444 "REQUEST_TIME" => 1749602906 ]
        request_cookies
        []
        
        response_headers
        0 of 0
        array:7 [ "content-type" => array:1 [ 0 => "text/html; charset=UTF-8" ] "cache-control" => array:1 [ 0 => "private, must-revalidate" ] "date" => array:1 [ 0 => "Wed, 11 Jun 2025 00:48:26 GMT" ] "pragma" => array:1 [ 0 => "no-cache" ] "expires" => array:1 [ 0 => -1 ] "set-cookie" => array:2 [ 0 => "XSRF-TOKEN=eyJpdiI6IllreGNTRkM5aC8vbk8xVDJBRjA3N2c9PSIsInZhbHVlIjoiSzlGOTdiWHNsTXpMdVJJMXF5VWZyZmZlSVVKMTVnUXVmTDVPQkp5d24yZER3Y2xzdDJkVVlDM21PUUhVY3JaSWpjRzNwdGhWVmFqY0UvYnpja3V5K1hPNzMvWCs0alJTYnYrRkZtdU5zREp1WnVOWkdXQ0ZFOU1JQnIxaHhBV3UiLCJtYWMiOiIxNTgxMmVlN2JjNmUwY2MxMGY1YWM3ZWE5MmRmYzQ0NzRlNDAyZjg1MTI5NTA2NzI0OTM2NzgwMDVjMDAzOGJmIiwidGFnIjoiIn0%3D; expires=Wed, 11-Jun-2025 02:48:28 GMT; Max-Age=7200; path=/; samesite=laxXSRF-TOKEN=eyJpdiI6IllreGNTRkM5aC8vbk8xVDJBRjA3N2c9PSIsInZhbHVlIjoiSzlGOTdiWHNsTXpMdVJJMXF5VWZyZmZlSVVKMTVnUXVmTDVPQkp5d24yZER3Y2xzdDJkVVlDM21PUUhVY3JaSWpjRzNwd" 1 => "askhelpdesk_session=eyJpdiI6Ijh1ellFaXpDZURhbVluZmU3RC9kOVE9PSIsInZhbHVlIjoiNzVDR1NRN05HY2ZyZm1DRGtEZE5wOS9RTmtKMThHVlNrVUthRWk0ZjdHWml3NXJZbWoya0loY1B3QXlMbFo0dmE5MEVONXpOQkxCd1NxY2dRM1JNWTNkQmtNZ3NsQUc4eldXM09UVmtHdnhkcTNVVGg2SUM1VVNtVktCeGpYTUEiLCJtYWMiOiJhMGY2NWE5ZGIzNjJjZDkyNzJjZWZlMjI4MDhmZmQ5ZWM5ZGM2MmMyMWUwODQ0NTZkYmEyZjEwNWZiYWYwYTQ3IiwidGFnIjoiIn0%3D; expires=Wed, 11-Jun-2025 02:48:28 GMT; Max-Age=7200; path=/; httponly; samesite=laxaskhelpdesk_session=eyJpdiI6Ijh1ellFaXpDZURhbVluZmU3RC9kOVE9PSIsInZhbHVlIjoiNzVDR1NRN05HY2ZyZm1DRGtEZE5wOS9RTmtKMThHVlNrVUthRWk0ZjdHWml3NXJZbWoya0loY1B3QXlMbFo0" ] "Set-Cookie" => array:2 [ 0 => "XSRF-TOKEN=eyJpdiI6IllreGNTRkM5aC8vbk8xVDJBRjA3N2c9PSIsInZhbHVlIjoiSzlGOTdiWHNsTXpMdVJJMXF5VWZyZmZlSVVKMTVnUXVmTDVPQkp5d24yZER3Y2xzdDJkVVlDM21PUUhVY3JaSWpjRzNwdGhWVmFqY0UvYnpja3V5K1hPNzMvWCs0alJTYnYrRkZtdU5zREp1WnVOWkdXQ0ZFOU1JQnIxaHhBV3UiLCJtYWMiOiIxNTgxMmVlN2JjNmUwY2MxMGY1YWM3ZWE5MmRmYzQ0NzRlNDAyZjg1MTI5NTA2NzI0OTM2NzgwMDVjMDAzOGJmIiwidGFnIjoiIn0%3D; expires=Wed, 11-Jun-2025 02:48:28 GMT; path=/XSRF-TOKEN=eyJpdiI6IllreGNTRkM5aC8vbk8xVDJBRjA3N2c9PSIsInZhbHVlIjoiSzlGOTdiWHNsTXpMdVJJMXF5VWZyZmZlSVVKMTVnUXVmTDVPQkp5d24yZER3Y2xzdDJkVVlDM21PUUhVY3JaSWpjRzNwd" 1 => "askhelpdesk_session=eyJpdiI6Ijh1ellFaXpDZURhbVluZmU3RC9kOVE9PSIsInZhbHVlIjoiNzVDR1NRN05HY2ZyZm1DRGtEZE5wOS9RTmtKMThHVlNrVUthRWk0ZjdHWml3NXJZbWoya0loY1B3QXlMbFo0dmE5MEVONXpOQkxCd1NxY2dRM1JNWTNkQmtNZ3NsQUc4eldXM09UVmtHdnhkcTNVVGg2SUM1VVNtVktCeGpYTUEiLCJtYWMiOiJhMGY2NWE5ZGIzNjJjZDkyNzJjZWZlMjI4MDhmZmQ5ZWM5ZGM2MmMyMWUwODQ0NTZkYmEyZjEwNWZiYWYwYTQ3IiwidGFnIjoiIn0%3D; expires=Wed, 11-Jun-2025 02:48:28 GMT; path=/; httponlyaskhelpdesk_session=eyJpdiI6Ijh1ellFaXpDZURhbVluZmU3RC9kOVE9PSIsInZhbHVlIjoiNzVDR1NRN05HY2ZyZm1DRGtEZE5wOS9RTmtKMThHVlNrVUthRWk0ZjdHWml3NXJZbWoya0loY1B3QXlMbFo0" ] ]
        session_attributes
        0 of 0
        array:4 [ "_token" => "NJB2MCLt2BtWlc5pgQRgiZ8PJsli9oeEONt0daM4" "_previous" => array:1 [ "url" => "https://receivinghelpdesk.com/ask/is-it-healthy-to-keep-in-touch-with-an-ex" ] "_flash" => array:2 [ "old" => [] "new" => [] ] "PHPDEBUGBAR_STACK_DATA" => [] ]